Wednesday, October 12, 2011

a tribute to marriage.

Today marks my parents' 26th wedding anniversary.  
To me 26 years is a long time, but I asked Mom if she felt like it had been that long.  She said no.  I've decided that in life you will never really believe how old you are, or how long you have been married, but I guess that's a good thing - it reminds us how fleeting life is, and how a "long time" is really very short.

But I wanted to post a post in honor of my parents' marriage for a few reasons.  

One:  They are my parents.  I know no other marriage [outside of my own] as intimately as theirs - I grew up watching them interact, share joys and sorrows, happiness and burdens, and raise their kids to know obedience, love, and fear of the Lord from day one.

Two: It is an awesome thing to see a marriage that is still flourishing in a time when marriage and family are quickly losing value and "societal norms" are up for grabs.  

Three:  It is even better to see a marriage rooted and grounded in the eternal truths of the gospel, having been established through and for God, and still honoring Him years later.


I think it is important to glorify marriage in general versus marriage specifically because it wouldn't make much sense for me to say something like, "Hey, congrats, Mom and Dad, for keeping it together this long!" because [and I know they would agree] it is all the work of the Lord.  There are plenty of marriages that are just "lasting" based on "old-fashioned" societal standards, or religious rules that prohibit divorce, when in reality the "married couple" are living like a functionally divorced couple...but at least they live in the same house.  That is sad.  That is not what God intended, and that is not what marriage looks like if He is intimately involved.   Does this mean that every Christian couple will have a perfect marriage, or that they are guaranteed an "easy time" if they prioritize God? No.  But they also certainly won't be functionally divorced. 


One of our pastors back home always includes this line in his marriage sermons: "The God of the Bible is no prude."  He created marriage to be enjoyed by man and wife - no ball and chains here! Marriage was meant to display His glory by reflecting the glorious truth of Christ and the Church.  Just as Christ is the head of the Church, nourishing and cherishing it - giving His life up for it - the husband is to so cherish and nourish his wife, seeking her good in every way [Ephesians 5:29, paraphrased] and wives are to love their husbands and to be self-controlled, pure, kind, and submissive [Titus 2:4b-5, paraphrased].  When husbands and wives realize their God-given assignments, they are free to live out the gospel in these roles for all the world to see.  Realizing the  different roles men and women are to fill in a marriage brings about a harmony the world is still trying either to fight or hopelessly figure out.  Only God knows how to bring about peace in marriages that otherwise would be marred by futile attempts at 50/50 contributions and endless debates over every mundane circumstance that might threaten the happiness of either person.  God allows a marriage to operate in the realization that they are, in fact, one flesh under God's authority, and are therefore about to seek the good of one another, nurturing their marriage, and ultimately glorifying God by showing the world how it was always meant to be.  


This harmony is impossible, of course, for people who have not submitted to Christ as Lord of their lives - meaning, whatever shots He is calling, you're obeying.  If there is no recognition of the authority that God has over everything [including the very details of marriage], then there is no desire to please Him, no power to obey Him, and no willingness to lay down a life for another.  The ability to do any of this comes when Christ's sacrifice for sin has been accepted personally - realizing that no human efforts can earn eternal glory, but only the cleansing blood of God's only Son - the only thing that has power and authority before the throne of God.   Once this realization hits, your life takes off.  There isn't anything you wouldn't do to obey God, and loving people is a liberal display of what Christ has already done for you - if you've been forgiven of all sin, how can you not freely forgive anyone who sins against you?  If Christ gave His very life for you, how can you not deny your own desires and wishes for another in love?



So let's get this back to marriage.  Marriage is meant to display all of that in a nutshell:  two sinners living under the same roof, if they realize the authority of God in all areas of their lives, will freely serve, forgive, cherish, nourish and love one another out of the overflow of the Love they have already received.  

My parents know this Love and honor this ultimate Authority, and even though their marriage and child rearing has not been easy, they have kept God at the center, and they have taught it to their children.  I'm sure that if you ask them the success to their 26 years of marriage, they won't tell you about how keeping Friday date nights is pivotal [although I'm sure it doesn't hurt ;)] or how having kids fulfills all your hopes and dreams [HA!].  But I am sure that they would be able to tell you of the grace they have received that allows them to be gracious to one another.  That the ultimate Sacrifice by which they have been freed from sin allows them to serve one another, give preference to one another, and sacrifice time and energy to do what the other wishes.  There is no "secret" to marriage - it has been laid out clearly in the Word of God, and if your life is ruled by Him, your marriage certainly will be as well.  



I leave you with this encouragement:

"For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.  And He is the head of the body, the church.  He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything He might be preeminent." 

Colossians 1:16-18



So Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!  May God grant you many more as you continue to seek and honor Him with your lives together, being held together by Him, and making Him preeminent in all things :)


Scary what Google can give you, eh? Haha...


No comments:

Post a Comment