Today
marks my parents' 26th wedding anniversary.
To
me 26 years is a long time, but I asked Mom if she felt like it had been that
long. She said no. I've decided that in life you will never really
believe how old you are, or how long you have been married, but I guess that's
a good thing - it reminds us how fleeting life is, and how a "long
time" is really very short.
But
I wanted to post a post in honor of my parents' marriage for a few
reasons.
One:
They are my parents. I know no other marriage [outside of my own] as
intimately as theirs - I grew up watching them interact, share joys and
sorrows, happiness and burdens, and raise their kids to know obedience, love,
and fear of the Lord from day one.
Two:
It is an awesome thing to see a marriage that is still flourishing in a time
when marriage and family are quickly losing value and "societal
norms" are up for grabs.
Three:
It is even better to see a marriage rooted and grounded in the eternal truths
of the gospel, having been established through and for God, and still honoring
Him years later.
I
think it is important to glorify marriage in general versus marriage
specifically because it wouldn't make much sense for me to say something like,
"Hey, congrats, Mom and Dad, for keeping it together this long!"
because [and I know they would agree] it is all the work of the Lord.
There are plenty of marriages that are just "lasting" based on
"old-fashioned" societal standards, or religious rules that prohibit
divorce, when in reality the "married couple" are living like a
functionally divorced couple...but at least they live in the same house.
That is sad. That is not what God intended, and that is not what marriage
looks like if He is intimately involved. Does this mean that every
Christian couple will have a perfect marriage, or that they are guaranteed an
"easy time" if they prioritize God? No. But they also certainly
won't be functionally divorced.
One
of our pastors back home always includes this line in his marriage sermons:
"The God of the Bible is no prude." He created marriage to be enjoyed by man and wife - no ball and
chains here! Marriage was meant to display His glory by reflecting the glorious
truth of Christ and the Church. Just as Christ is the head of the Church,
nourishing and cherishing it - giving His life up for it - the husband is to so
cherish and nourish his wife, seeking her good in every way [Ephesians 5:29,
paraphrased] and wives are to love their husbands and to be self-controlled,
pure, kind, and submissive [Titus 2:4b-5, paraphrased]. When husbands and
wives realize their God-given assignments, they are free to live out the gospel
in these roles for all the world to see. Realizing the different
roles men and women are to fill in a marriage brings about a harmony the world
is still trying either to fight or hopelessly figure out. Only God knows
how to bring about peace in marriages that otherwise would be marred by futile
attempts at 50/50 contributions and endless debates over every mundane circumstance
that might threaten the happiness of either person. God allows a marriage
to operate in the realization that they are, in fact, one flesh under God's
authority, and are therefore about to seek the good of one another, nurturing
their marriage, and ultimately glorifying God by showing the world how it was
always meant to be.
This
harmony is impossible, of course, for people who have not submitted to Christ
as Lord of their lives - meaning, whatever shots He is calling, you're
obeying. If there is no recognition of the authority that God has over
everything [including the very details of marriage], then there is no desire to
please Him, no power to obey Him, and no willingness to lay down a life for
another. The ability to do any of this comes when Christ's sacrifice for
sin has been accepted personally - realizing that no human efforts can earn
eternal glory, but only the cleansing blood of God's only Son - the only thing
that has power and authority before the throne of God. Once this
realization hits, your life takes off. There isn't anything you wouldn't
do to obey God, and loving people is a liberal display of what Christ has
already done for you - if you've been forgiven of all sin, how can you not freely forgive anyone who sins against
you? If Christ gave His very life
for you, how can you not deny your own desires and wishes for another in love?
So
let's get this back to marriage. Marriage is meant to display all of that
in a nutshell: two sinners living under the same roof, if they realize
the authority of God in all areas of their lives, will freely serve, forgive,
cherish, nourish and love one another out of the overflow of the Love they have
already received.
My
parents know this Love and honor this ultimate Authority, and even though their
marriage and child rearing has not been easy, they have kept God at the center,
and they have taught it to their children. I'm sure that if you ask them
the success to their 26 years of marriage, they won't tell you about how keeping
Friday date nights is pivotal [although I'm sure it doesn't hurt ;)] or how
having kids fulfills all your hopes and dreams [HA!]. But I am sure that
they would be able to tell you of the grace they have received that allows them
to be gracious to one another. That the ultimate Sacrifice by which they
have been freed from sin allows them to serve one another, give preference to
one another, and sacrifice time and energy to do what the other wishes.
There is no "secret" to marriage - it has been laid out clearly in
the Word of God, and if your life is
ruled by Him, your marriage certainly will be as well.
I
leave you with this encouragement:
"For by Him all things were
created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or
dominions or rulers or authorities - all
things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things,
and in Him all things hold together.
And He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the
firstborn from the dead, that in
everything He might be preeminent."
Colossians
1:16-18
So
Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad! May God grant you many more as you
continue to seek and honor Him with your lives together, being held together by
Him, and making Him preeminent in all things :)
Scary
what Google can give you, eh? Haha...
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